WHEN TWO SUPER PERVERTS UNITE
by JensenDaniels32
Summary: RESUMING. HOPE IT INSPIRES OTHERS TO DO JIRAIYA x 02 MATSU CROSSOVERS, AS WELL. Jiraiya thought that he was killed in his fight against Pein. Imagine his surprise when he wakes up in the lap of a certain red-head. What perverted horrors will these two unleash upon the world.
1. Jiraiya x Matsu: The Unholy Unity

**WHEN TWO SUPER PERVERTS UNITE**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or Sekirei. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Sakurako Gokurakuin, respectively.**

 **Chapter 1: Jiraiya and Matsu: The Unholy Unity**

Jiraiya was drowning. He had just fought and lost in a fierce battle to the death against Pein, who was thought to be the leader of Akatsuki at the time, before being thrown into a body of water. Now he was lamenting his failures in life. As he died, he revived himself through sheer willpower, if only for a moment, so that he could finally succeed in accomplishing something before dying. Thus, he engraved the secret to defeating Pein onto a newly summoned frog's back and told it to give the message to the Hidden Leaf Village. After doing this, his vision once again began to fade before he closed his eyes for what he believed to be the final time.

He was wrong.

If Pein would've stuck around for a second longer, then he wouldn't have missed the blinding, white light that covered the Toad Sage's entire body.

* * *

At Izumo Inn, we find Miya, Homura (a.k.a. Kagari), Uzume, and Matsu eating breakfast together at the table.

"My, my, it certainly is unusual for you to be out of your secret room, Matsu," Came the idle comment from the lips of the purple-haired landlady of the inn, Miya Asuma.

Upon hearing Miya's remark, everyone turned their attention to Matsu expectantly.

In response, she sighed in resignation. "Well, I guess it can't be helped then. As weird as it sounds, I came down here this morning because I thought that I heard my Ashikabi's voice calling out to me."

For awhile, all of the occupants of the inn silently stared at Matsu in surprise...before they burst into a laughing fit a moment later.

"So where is he? It's not like he's just going to magically appear outta...thin...air...?" Uzume trailed off before gaping at the form of Jiraiya, which suddenly appeared on Matsu's lap.

"Actually, it is," Matsu retorted with a smug grin on her face, even though she was just as baffled as everyone else was.

* * *

Jiraiya's eyes fluttered open to the sight of a blinding, white light, along with the blurry silhouette of a person looking down at him. Why was-oh, that's right, he remembered dying during his fight with Pein. He also felt no pain, so the winds he had received during his last battle were most likely gone.

"So peaceful...then does this mean that I made it to Heaven...?" Jiraiya mumbled out in a weak and drowsy voice.

Suddenly, the light faded, and his blurry vision became focused on the figure looking down at him, which turned out to be a red-headed woman with glasses and a massive bust leaning directly above him. She was also staring at longingly at him while rubbing her gorgeous legs together in an attempt to restrain herself from screwing him silly.

"HEAVEN IT IS!" Jiraiya shouted as he suddenly gained a perverted look on his face before a jet stream of blood shot out off his nose and rocketed him into the wall, rendering him unconscious.

While the now-unconscious Toad Sage laid in the wall with a blissful and perverted look on his face, the three tenants staying at Izumo Inn turned deathly pale and started to sweat nervously from the cold, blank stare that Miya was directing at him.

"My, my, what a perverted look our unconscious newcomer is sporting. I sincerely _hope_ that this _pervert_ isn't Matsu's destined one," Miya stated a bit too cheerfully as she rested her hand on the handle of her sword.

"WHAT?!" that moment, Jiraiya regained consciousness, startling everyone. "I'm not a pervert!"

Miya then gave him a challenging smirk, daring him to prove her wrong.

"I'M A _SUPER PERVERT_!" The Toad Sage exclaimed as he gave an idiotic smile and two thumbs up.

For a moment, everyone stared at him incredulously, minus Matsu.

"I want to kill him now," Miya said in a very calm and cheerful voice, breaking the silence.

"KYAAAAAAAA! Come here and give me your DNA, my Ashikabi!" Matsu exclaimed and tackled Jiraiya.

Before the Toad Sage could react, Matsu pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. Wings of light then shot forth from her back and covered the whole room in a blinding light. When the light died down, Matsu broke the kiss and huskily recited her Sekirei's Pledge to the white-haired ninja, announcing herself as Sekirei #02 Matsu.

Jiraiya dumbly blinked twice before his brain finally caught up with him.

"WAHOOOO!" The Toad Sage exclaimed in glee as another pool of blood shot out of his nose, causing him to once again blast him through the wall and fall unconscious due to blood loss.

Matsu then noticed a small, orange book that had just fallen out of his shirt pocket. She walked up to it and picked it up before looking at title, "Icha Icha Paradise" ("Makeout Paradise" in English).

A perverted grin then made it's way onto the second Sekirei's face. She opened the book and read a few lines before closing it and standing up with a frown on her face...

...Followed by a nosebleed that sent Matsu rocketing from Izumo Inn to the other end of the city.

* * *

After retrieving an unconscious Matsu, Jiraiya found his book on the dining room table. He also noticed that Miya was nowhere to be seen at the moment, and his pervy senses started tingling in the direction of the bath house.

As soon as he arrived at the bath house, he creaked the door open just in time to see Miya ejaculating. The loud moan she gave out and her arm's positioning were a dead giveaway.

Jiraiya gently laid the unconscious Matsu, who he had brought along, down beside him. He then pulled out a pen, as well as a notepad, and started writing at a furious pace while giggling pervertedly. It didn't take five seconds for his danger senses to start tingling either, though. When he looked back up, he immediately wished that he hadn't. Standing in front of him was Miya, and the look in her eye was the same one she held when she and the 1st Disciplinary Squad had decimated an army all those years ago. She also had a pitch-black aura surrounding herself, and her sword pointed at his throat.

At that moment, Matsu regained consciousness and instinctively froze.

"What do you think you are doing, _pervert_? Answer carefully, because it could be your last," Miya asked and advised Jiraiya, though Matsu thought that the question was directed at her.

"W-Wh-What did-" Matsu started to ask, only for Miya to cut her off as she pointed at the Toad Sage next to her.

"I was doing research for my new Icha Icha book. Also, I'm not just any old pervert! I'm a _SUPER PERV-_ Ack! Not the face! WAAAAAAAAH!" Jiraiya was cut off by a multitude of sword strikes, punches, and kicks to his body.

* * *

When Miya had finished beating the Toad Sage senseless, she got dressed and returned to the inn. As soon as she was was gone, Matsu ran over to check on her Ashikabi.

"Please don't die, my Jiraiya!" Matsu cried out and started sobbing on his chest, only for him to somehow completely recover and start laughing a mere second later.

The second Sekirei's jaw hit the ground in complete shock, something that did not go unnoticed by Jiraiya.

"Oh come now, it will take more than that to keep the great Jiraiya down! HAHAHA!" He laughed, making Matsu sweatdrop.

Just then, the second Sekirei's eyes fully widened upon suddenly remembering something that her Ashikabi told Miya when he got caught peeping at her a moment ago.

"Wait... _you're_ the author of 'Icha Icha Paradise', Jiraiya?!" Matsu exclaimed in shock, to which he gave her an affirmative nod. "OH MY GOD! PLEASE RE-ENACT THE SCENES WITH ME AND GIVE ME YOUR D.N.A.!" Matsu screamed in elation as she jumped on top of him and took it upon herself to take his clothes off.

Jiraiya, who was beyond stunned at this, stared at her with widened eyes, his body motionless as his brain was busy trying to comprehend what he had just heard. When he finally came to a moment later, he began thanking the God Of Perverts profusely as tears of joy streamed down his face. Finally, a woman who understands "the way of the pervert" as much as himself! A female super pervert! If that weren't amazing enough, she wants to be with _him_ , of all people! It was as if they were made for each other.

"OH, HELL YES! YAHOO!" Jiraiya responded to her question and followed Matsu's example by removing the second Sekirei's clothes as well.

The sexual activities and love-making that followed is far too graphic to be shown in this fanfiction. That, and a lack of knowledge on he contents of, "Icha Icha Paradise".

* * *

After three hours of "experimentation", Jiraiya and Matsu headed back into Izumo Inn. As soon as the two set foot into the house, Miya came out of the kitchen and told the perverted hermit to follow her into the kitchen. Knowing that the landlady wanted to speak with him alone, the Toad Sage did as asked.

Upon reaching their destination, Miya's gaze turned cold again. "Sell any of what you saw, and I will murder you. Am I clear?" She asked while glaring at Matsu's Ashikabi.

"Oh, please. You wouldn't stand a chance-" A sword swipe too fast for an ordinary human seemed to slash Jiraiya across the chest before he could finish speaking. However, he is far from an ordinary person, so he saw the blade coming towards him and used his Substitution Jutsu to replace himself with a chair, avoiding the strike.

Miya's breath then hitched as she felt a kunai pressed against her throat. "You know, it's rude to attempt to harm or kill someone when they are trying to have a conversation with you. As I was saying, you can't defeat me. However, you won't have to, because I am willing to get rid of it, as long as you stop trying to cut me. Deal?"

After a moment, Miya let her sword rest at her side and nodded, albeit begrudgingly. Jiraiya then relaxed and tore the pages out that he had written for his future book, and gave them to Miya, who immediately threw them in the trash.

Jiraiya then sighed in relief. "Glad that's over with. Anyways, I am looking for a place to stay until I can get enough money to buy a house. My current Job doesn't pay too well, so I decided to start my career as a writer just recently. My 'Icha Icha Paradise' book only got published last night, so I have yet to make any money off of it. Would you mind letting me stay here? If so, what's the rent cost?" It wasn't a total lie, as he didn't have any currency from this world because he hasn't put his book out on the market yet.

Miya sighed in defeat. "As much as I want to refuse, we Izumo Inn will not turn away someone in need. As for the rent, it's 50,000 yen per month. The only to rules are that fighting on this property is prohibited, and sexual activities at the inn are expressly forbidden, _pervert_." Miya knew that he wasn't telling her everything, but she knew that it wasn't her business to pry.

"Super Pervert," Jiraiya corrected, causing Miya's right eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "And I gratefully accept."

"You can stay with Matsu in her room," Miya told the Toad Sage, whose jaw dropped to the floor upon hearing this. "Just be sure to keep your beastly urges in check, pervy scum."

Miya had gotten tired of Jiraiya telling correcting her whenever she called him a pervert, so she decided to refer to him as "pervy scum" instead. The new moniker resulted in Jiraiya sulking in a corner of the room while everyone else laughed at his expense. A moment later, a smile made it's way onto his face. He just knew that he was going to enjoy it here.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

 **cannot believe that I'm the first person to make Jiraiya & #02 Matsu a couple. The PERFECT match, and nobody has done this pairing until now. Is it just me, am I the only one with a brain on this planet? Lolz. On a similar note, NARUTO & HINATA WILL ONLY APPEAR IN CHAPTERS 2 & 3\. Anyways, until next time, peace out.**


	2. Revelation & Realization

**WHEN TWO SUPER PERVERTS UNITE**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or Sekirei. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Sakurako Gokurakuin, respectively.**

 **A/N: Naruto & Hinata WILL NOT be in this story, other than chapters 2 and 3.**

 **Chapter 2: Revelation & Realization**

"Wait, what?! That's impossible. It's the only kind on the planet! Everyone uses this!" Jiraiya exclaimed in disbelief.

Miya's smile never wavered. "I am sorry, but I've never seen anybody use that kind before. I'm also worried about your sanity if you think there's only one in the world, pervy scum."

The purple-haired landlady's last comment caused Jiraiya to blink twice as a combination of both cluelessness and curiosity made it's way onto his features. Not a moment later, he narrowed his eyes, and the look on his face from a moment ago was now replaced with suspicion.

"Oh? Then why don't you prove me wrong?" Jiraiya suggested with a smirk.

That smirk was quickly replaced by his jaw dropping onto the floor as he observed the yen.

...Yes, Jiraiya was arguing with Miya over what the currency was in this world.

Miya had asked the perverted Toad Sage to pay the monthly rent fee almost immediately after explaining the rules to him. When the purple-haired landlady had first mentioned the word yen, Jiraiya had originally thought that it was just a new name for the word ryo, which is what the currency in the Elemental Nations is called. So imagine his shock when he had tried to pay with his world's currency, only for the purple-haired landlady to tell him that whatever currency he was using wasn't valid.

"I don't believe you! Why would the Elemental Nations change their form currency all of a sudden?"

It had only been four hours since he was brought here, and he has yet to notice that his homeland doesn't exist here, apparently. Then again, both Izumo Inn and it's bath house would have easily passed as a structure commonly seen in the Elemental Nations. Add the fact that these were the only two places he had seen since his suddenly appearance out of thin air, and it is easy to see why he is confused with the current situation.

"Elemental Nations?" Miya asked in confusion. "I don't know where that is, but you are currently in Shinto Teito, which is the largest city in Japan."

Alarms were now going off in Jiraiya's head upon hearing that bit of information, as he had never heard of Shinto Teito nor Japan. His eyes shot wide open as he quickly stood up and ran off to find the front door of the house. Upon finding said door, he quickly opened it in order to see if what Miya had told him was true or not. What he saw made his jaw draw drop and his eyes nearly pop out of his skull.

The perverted Toad Sage was treated to the sight of metallic box-like contraptions with four wheels that were being used as transportation known as cars; poles holding up small boxes that contain three different-colored bulbs called traffic lights; people walking around in clothes that were alien to him; and so many unbelievably advanced buildings, houses, and other manmade structures that there were hardly any trees around.

After staring outside for about five minutes, Jiraiya closed the door and walked up to the others. He than sat down calmly and drank some tea that Miya had put on the table for him.

The perverted Toad Sage blew/spat said tea onto Miya's face out of shock.

"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK?!" Jiraiya screamed at the top of his lungs.

As soon as those three words had left his mouth, he felt his face slam into the ground upon getting a ladle to the back of his head, courtesy of the purple-haired landlady.

"That kind of language will not be tolerated in Izum-" Miya's left eye twitched when the Toad Sage interrupted her.

"Oh no, NARUTO!" Jiraiya yelled at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Somewhere on the outskirts of Shinto Teito, a certain blonde-haired immortal sneezed. A woman with long, black hair, which also has a purplish tint to it that has become all but unnoticeable ever since her 19th birthday, blinked in surprise before a playful smirk made it's way onto her features.

"My, my. I didn't think it was possible for you to catch a cold, Naruto," The woman commented in a teasing tone of voice.

The man, now known as Naruto, smirked as well. "I'm not the only one who cannot catch a cold, my beloved wife, Hinata. After all, both of us are immortal, so neither of us can get sick anymore."

"So, are you sure that it's him?" The woman, now known as Hinata, asked him with a serious look on her face.

"There's no doubt about it. I'd recognise that chakra signature from anywhere," Naruto replied, his demeanor becoming just as serious.

 _'Even so, it doesn't mean he's alive. It's probably just his essence sealed into a scroll or something. Still, why didn't it activate until now? I also could have sworn that I heard him yelling my name just before I sneezed. What in the Hell is going on?'_ These were the thoughts running through Naruto's head as he and his wife headed towards Izumo Inn.

* * *

"Oh pervy scum...," Miya spoke sweetly as a Hanya Mask formed behind her, "I do not take kindly to being interrupted and/or ignored when I am speaking with someone, especially when that someone is the one responsib-" Miya's left eye twitched again upon being interrupted once more, this time by Matsu.

"No way...," Jiraiya's stunned Sekirei barely managed to breathe out while staring at her laptop.

"Yes, Matsu? What could possibly be so important that you felt the need to cut me off while I was speaking?" Miya asked as a second Hanya Mask suddenly fazed into existence from behind her.

"It says here that ryo used to indeed be a valid currency," Matsu stated in disbelief, not even noticing the two masks, much to the surprise of the landlady.

"What do you mean by "used to be?'" Miya asked with a raised eyebrow while a sudden feeling of dread made its way into the pit of Jiraiya's stomach.

"That's just the thing, Miya. From what little information there is about that era, only one continent existed at that time. The seven continents of this era were originally part of one supercontinent, known as Pangea," Matsu stated.

THAT bit of information caught Miya's attention. "That...can't be...," Miya stated in shock, a reaction that Matsu had thought the purple-haired landlady to be incapable of.

Jiraiya, who did not like being left in the dark, had finally run out of patience. "Wait, wait, wait! What the Hell is a Pangea?! Or a supercontinent, for that matter?! Also, why are both of you taking out certain parts of the only known language on the planet and attaching them to each other?! I mean, sure I immediately figured out how it works as soon as I arrived due to my theory on the matter, but it's freaking hard to do, I tell ya'! It's almost as if you are both trying to create some kind of sub-language!" He exclaimed in comedic, mock anger, which caused Miya and Matsu each to sweatdrop.

In the end, it was Matsu who decided to break the morbid news to her Ashikabi. "Jiraiya...you're...you're at least 500,000 years in the future from your own time, if not more. Heck, for all we know, you might even be more than 3 billion years into the future."

Jiraiya's eyes shot wide open in shock at the revalation. After a moment, a look of horror made it's way onto his features as realization dawned upon him.

"Then...then...," The perverted Toad Sage trailed off in a trembling voice full of grief and sorrow.

"Everyone you have ever known before today...died a long time ago. I'm so sorry..." Matsu trailed off solemnly.

Upon hearing those words, the light in Jiraiya's eyes died.

"ALRIGHT! HAND IT OV-HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY WIFE, PERVY SAGE'S ESSENCE?! LET GO OF HINATA, ALREADY!"

...Only to fully revive upon the sight of Naruto and Hinata, who are now standing where the door used to reside before Naruto kicked it off its hinges a moment ago.

"HINATAAAA! THANK THE GODS!" Jiraiya trailed off in an ecstatic tone of voice as tears of joy began streaming down his cheeks.

"...Huh?" Were the unintelligent replies from Miya, Matsu, Naruto, and Hinata.

"With your knowledge, public bathing can be revived! Then I can continue my research...hehehehe!" Jiraiya giggled perversely.

And everyone face-faulted.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE SO UPSET A MOMENT AGO?! YOU DAMN PERVERT! WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT?!" Miya screams at Jiraiya in a fit of rage.

Jiraiya shrugged. "I'm sure all of them had a good life, so no need to worry. Besides...I couldn't have asked for a better wife! Heeheehee!" Jiraiya states before letting out some perverted giggles

"Actually, we have public bathing in this time period...," Matsu deadpanned, shocking the perverted toad sage.

That shock was almost immediately replaced by shouts of joy and perverted giggles.

"HEY PERVY SAGE! AREN'T YOU EVEN GONNA SAY HI TO YOUR APPRENTICE?!" Naruto yelled with a look of comical anger on his face.

"Oh, you're still still here, Naruto?" Was Jiraiya's "caring" response.

Naruto face-faulted again.

"Why you...!" Naruto was about to storm up to his godfather and give him a comical beating, but a soft, delicate hand on his shoulder stopped him from doing so.

It was Matsu.

"I know how it looks, but the truth is that he is overjoyed to see you. He actually was not sad over the 'extinction' of public bathing, because he already knew that they are still around. He only used that perverted front so that you would not notice his true feelings. He doesn't know how to express those feelings very well, which is the _reason_ that he's pretending to act like a pervert right now. You have no idea how happy he actually is to see you. You must be really special to him," Matsu told Naruto who's eyes widened in complete shock.

"HEY! DON'T GO TELLING OTHERS HOW I FEEL! YOU'RE RUINING MY AWESOME SOCIAL IMAGE!" The perverted Toad Sage yelled at matsu in comical anger as he blushed from embarrassment.

Naruto was now smiling warmly at his old teacher, who turned his head away in embarrassment while scratching the side of his cheek with one of his fingers.

"Come on pervy sage, we've got some catching up to do!" Naruto excaimed cheerfully and headed over to take a seat at the dining table.

"This day wasn't so bad after all," Jiraiya mumbled to himself.

That's when Miya walked over to where the door used to be with a Hanya mask hovering behind her person.

 _'Perhaps I spoke too soon...,'_ Jiraiya mentally groaned.

"Oh pervy scum...," Miya trailed off a bit too sweetly. "This reunion sounds nice and all, but who is going to pay for the door? He was _your_ apprentice, after all, and that makes you responsible for him, seeing as he doesn't live here. Oh, and that reminds me...your rent fee as well, please," Miya called out in a calm yet dark tone as 99 more Hanya masks formed behind her.

Jiraiya quickly got to his feet and ran off as fast as he could. It still dodn't save him from Miya's accuracy with her ladle.

 **Thank you all so much for all of the support! I am really glad that so many people seem to enjoy this! A reunion in the next chapter, there will be. Also, Jiraiya takes Matsu on her first date, which also happens to be their first peeping session together! ...Aaaaaaand I'm going to go ahead and upload this now before the possibly multiple Brown Recluse spider bites on my legs get any worse. I base this theory off the small spider that scurried off of my body once I eventually noticed it. By eventually, I mean that I only noticed it atience it started frantically running down from my _back._ The only reason it started running away at all was because I turned over slightly on my bed. Also, the fact that multiple concentrated spots on my body are currently itching, burning, and tingling like all hell tells me that it had proooobably been there for awhile. So until next time...well, assuming that there _is_** **a next time. If I do end up dying from this, then remember my final words: DIABETIC ZOMBIE PIE, BABY! WHEEEEEEEEE!**

 ***I DIDN'T DIE! Well, I guess that means I'm not allergic to them, lolz***


	3. SUPER PERVERTED 1st Date, YEAH BABY! P1

**WHEN TWO SUPER PERVERTS UNITE**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or Sekirei. They are owned by Masashi Kishimoto and Sakurako Gokurakuin, respectively.**

 **A/N: _NO MORE NARUTO & HINATA AFTER THIS CHAPTER._**

 **Chapter 3: First Date of the SUPER PERVERTS, YEAH BABY! (Part 1)**

The rest of the day was interesting, to say the least. It had already reached midnight by the time Naruto had finished story, although it should've taken far longer for a person to tell their life story of 2 billion years, especially with such a large group of people. Apparently, Homura and Uzume wanted to hear the story as well.

"...And that's everything!" Naruto finished with a grin.

By now, all of the Sekirei's jaws were comically on the floor in shock. They would've thought the blonde-haired ninja to be a complete nut job if it weren't for him showing off some of his abilities (without breaking or destroying anything).

"Wow, it sounds like you have had an incredibly interesting life, my former student! You even got yourself a beautiful lady!" Jiraiya exclaimed, giving Naruto two thumbs up, along with a perverted grin.

Everyone sweatdropped at the perverted Toad Sage's antics.

"Well, it's about time for us to go. It was great seeing you again, Pervy Sage," Naruto told his old teacher. "Oh, and before we go, I have a gift for both you and Matsu."

He then put one of his own hands on Jiraiya's forehead and the other on Matsu's. His hands then started to glow in unison before dying down a few seconds later.

"What did you do?" The perverted Toad Sage asked in utter confusion.

Naruto grinned. "Oh, nothing much, just immortality to both you and Matsu-huh?"

After hearing two thuds, the blonde Uzumaki face-palmed when he saw both Jiraiya and Matsu passed out on the floor with comical anime tears of joy, along with two of the most perverted looks he had ever seen, on their faces. Everyone else in the room-even his own wife-were glaring daggers at him.

Now the world would would never be safe from the two Super Perverts.

Naruto quickly left a note for his old teacher and ran out of the inn as fast as he could. He wasn't a fan of facing a woman's wrath, let alone an entire group of them.

Hinata gave chase, but not before saying her goodbyes to the group of women. She was going to be having a long talk with Naruto about this, along with where he would be sleeping for the next couple of years.

Being immortal could be a real bitch at times.

* * *

The next morning, Jiraiya woke up to the sight of a pair of breasts in his face. He then remembered all that happened yesterday.

"So it wasn't a dream. That's wonderful," He quietly muttered into her two mounds.

With that, he started sucking on them, which elicited a soft moan from Matsu. The perverted Toad Sage then pulled out a feather, and started tracing over his Sekirei's nipple with it. He would start out very slowly before immediately speeding up to the max, all the while keeping the touch just right for maximum results.

Ah, the wonderful things one can do with chakra.

"AWAAAAAHUUUUU!" The second Sekirei screamed/moaned in a cute yet erotic way as cum exploded out of her sacred area.

Matsu has what Jiraiya has dubbed as "the perfect moan", as it is unique and causes him to release his own load whenever he hears it, as well. Right now, the Super Pervert is relieving himself inside of his Sekirei's mouth, completely unaware of Miya, who is standing right behind him as she raises her ladle high up into the air.

* * *

Matsu slowly opened her eyes and noticed something very familiar stuck inside of her mouth. She sucked on it while swirling her tongue around the tip before the object pulsed twice and released a white, sticky liquid. As realization hit her, she smiled softly, which caused the perverted Toad Sage to become physically excited yet again. The second Sekirei then closed her eyes again and gently wrapped her tongue around Jiraiya's member as her Ashikabi started to deep-throat her.

Matsu spoke up as she rubbed her eyes groggily. "Mmm~! Dessert as soon as I wake up? You'll spoil m-!" She had just finished rubbing her eyes so that she could give her Ashikabi a heartwarming smile, only to see a certain purple-haired landlady standing right in front of her. Said landlady had 200 Hanya Masks hovering behind her, and they were all bleeding from their eyes, nostrils, ears, and mouth, much to the second Sekirei's horror, which was now at a whole new level. "M-M-M-M-MIYA!" The red-haired screamed out so loudly that the perverted Toad Sage, Miya, and (somehow) the Hanya Masks all covered their ears and winced.

"I'll spoil Miya? That doesn't sound right. Hey Matsu, are-" Jiraya started, only to look down and see that his Sekirei had passed out.

"Oh Pervy Sage...," Miya began with a voice that sounded absolutely demonic.

It seems that Miya has taken a liking to two words that Naruto whenever he refers or talks to Jiraiya.

"Oh. Oh! THAT'S what Matsu was trying to tell me!" Jiraiya just realized, though he looked like a complete idiot for saying his thoughts aloud, since he basically let Miya know that it had taken him until now to figure everything out.

Despite her rage, she still sweatdropped at hearing him say that with a straight face. Now she just felt sorry for him. Still, she needed to take care of this problem immediately.

...Then she realized that he was gone.

May the Log have mercy on any poor sod who happens to find themselves in Miya's path for the rest of the day.

* * *

His plan had worked. Jiraiya's idiotic comment had been able to distract Miya just long enough for him to grab his unconscious Sekirei and escape. Then came the part where he made that one mistake that usually causes a plan to blow up in a normal person's face. Then again, he wasn't exactly normal, so it just made it a bigger pain in the ass to pull off than it would've been if he hadn't screwed up in the first place.

His mistake? He used the Transparency Jutsu on himself to escape while carrying a clearly visible woman like a bride.

Jiraiya might as well have just stuck a giant sheet of paper with the words "LOOK AT ME, EVERYBODY! I'M A GHOST RUNNING AWAY WITH A HELPLESS MAIDEN! PLEASE CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS!" onto his invisible body.

The only reason that nobody started reporting seeing a ghost was because Miya was giving chase, along with her multitude of Hanya Masks. While everyone who saw this scene fainted, the weaker ones would have to be taken to a Psychiatric Ward due to the loss of their sanity.

In the end, Jiraiya and Matsu somehow managed to escape Miya, though at the cost of only making the purple-haired landlady even angrier than before. He had a pretty good idea of what would happen if he were to return anytime soon.

Sighing in resignation, he turned to his Sekirei. "Matsu, I don't think we can return to Izumo Inn anytime soon, or Miya will hurt us so badly that we'd be in the hou tal for weeks," He said with a serious expression on his face, which Matsu mirrored and gave an affirmative nod in reply.

"So what do we do? Miya won't calm down for a few days, though with her as pissed off as she is now, it might even take a week. I've never seen her that upset before," The second Sekirei asked/stated in concern.

"There's only one thing we can do...," Jiraiya trailed off as he narrowed his eyes and stared at his Sekirei with hardened eyes.

"And that is...?" She asked, leaning in to her Ashikabi.

"That is...," The hermit trailed off again and paused as Matsu gulped in suspense. "...TO GO TO THE PUBLIC BATH HOUSES AND DO RESEARCH FOR ICHA ICHA PARADISE!" He exclaimed proudly.

Matsu grinned excitedly as her eyes turned into stars. "So it's something like our first date?!"

"Huh? It's not just 'something like' our first date, it IS our first date, silly!" Jiraiya exclaimed, resulting in her "kyaaaaa"ing in glee. "While we're on the subject, how about becoming my research partner, Matsu?" He asked confidently.

He immediately got his answer when Matsu smashed her lips against his own, which quickly deepened into a passionate make-out session. After about 30 seconds, both broke the kiss to breath...only to face-palm upon remembering they are immortals now and no longer require breath to stay alive.

After the two had regained their composure, Jiraiya spoke again. "Alright! Matsu, I will need you to lead us to the nearest public women's bath house, seeing as I am completely unfamiliar with the area. Then we can peek and do research for the rest of the day~!" He finished in a perverted sing-song tone of voice before he started giggling like a perverted old man.

"Fufufufu!" Matsu immediately followed suit and started giggling in the same way that a perverted old woman would have.

Everyone nearby at the time suddenly felt a disturbance unlike any other form in the pit of their stomachs that caused them all to vomit.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...SOMEDAY (My current big project is DBZ X PRISON SCHOOL)**

 **Until Later!**


End file.
